and I don’t think he liked me so much

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getty images

It feels so far, far away. Like maybe it all happened in a dream or a movie. But not a movie that I wrote and starred in. Just one I happen to have watched, on a loop, for several years. God, I miss that movie.

I used to have my own TV show

A nationally syndicated dating game show called BZZZ! (it just enjoyed a re-airing in Feb 2020 on BuzzrTV!)

Having my own TV show was a lifelong dream come true. I told E! Entertainment News in a segment, “All I ever wanted was a dog and my own TV show. Now I have both!” I was…


And I let him in.

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photo from Unsplash by Dima Pecchurin

It was a snowy day in Cleveland. I sat alone in my much-too-large-for-only-one-person-apartment, wondering. Wondering entirely-too-intensely-about-everything-I-could-think-of. Has anyone ever died from eating non-cooked Toll House cookie dough? How long would it take to save up enough lint to make a sweater? Would George Clooney like me? If my neighbor started secretly feeding my cat Fancy Feast would Ms. Fluffypants desert me for the better meal? If I had a significant other in my life would I be boring him to tears with my ponderings?

Just then…

I hear a knock at the door. I race over to the peephole and…


Love the crap out of yourself in just one easy step

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Me jumping for joy. Photo by one of my besties, Joey Stuczynski

I always have. I always will. Also, I love you. The more you love, the easier it gets!

My first memory of the power of love was when I was in the 5th grade. Two kids were circling me on the playground and ganging up on me with mean words and threats of potential fisticuffs. For reasons I’m not sure of, my ten-year-old self just sat on the school bench calmly eating my apple, watching them as they circled me. And before I knew it, these words came out of my mouth…

I love you.

This unexpected love bomb freaked…


Hedy Lamarr, the genius immigrant remembered mostly for her physical beauty

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Hedy Lamarr — photo from Pixabay

Hedy’s inventions are what inspired me to create my solo art exhibit about trailblazing women, Pardon Me While I Blaze Some Trails.

Thanks, Hedy!


Or not

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Photo by Kinga Cichewicz on Unsplash

His snores rattled the pictures on the walls and the friction from his grinding teeth could start a brush fire.

Meredith rarely slept. But Meredith’s insomnia didn’t come without its perks. Like the perk of getting to watch Kyle sleep. She loves watching him sleep. She sometimes wonders what would happen if Kyle woke up suddenly and catches her staring at him. Would he think it was creepy? Meredith liked to think of her gazing as more curious than creepy.

She tries to dissect Kyle’s turbulent nighttime behavior, searching for any mysterious secrets he may reveal in his slumber. As…


Conversations with Creatives

I had a chat with my friend and fellow writer & filmmaker, Val!

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photo courtesy of Val

Annie: Hi, Val! We met 15 (or more?) years ago. It was on your Nurses project. What ended up happening with that project?

Valerie: Yes! Time has flown. That was a Workshop scene for a producers guild fellowship I did. I had written and produced a film called Burned Out Nurse about a nurse who becomes addicted to Vicodin. It’s used in several nursing schools and streaming on Tubi and Bherctv.

Annie: What is the first project you ever wrote?

Valerie: I wrote a stage play called Trapped about teen pregnancy and parenting. I got the actors and just put…


Where do we go from here?

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Photo by Bachir Bachchar on Unsplash

Why did we come here? Why choose a man-made waterfall? How about some mother fuckin’ nature? He screams as he skips a stone and skips over her.

She is lovely. But more importantly, she is half-naked and the sun is pounding forcefully on her tan, glowing skin. She was about to jump in the water but instead, she stands there and watches in amazement as he explodes loud words all around her. Again.

I can’t think straight! All of this, this, stuff, it’s distracting me! The mountains, the man-made waterfall, the sky, and YOU. You are so… distracting. You are…


It was our favorite gift

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photo by author

As soon as February would roll around I’d get the call, your cute, smiling, mischievous voice, “Boobilah, Annilah… it’s almost our birthday.”

We loved sharing a birthday. It was a cosmic validation from The Great Beyond. A testimony to our closeness. A validation we didn’t need but liked just the same.

You came to me in a dream last week and said, “Boobilah, Annilah…it’s almost our birthday!” I started to cry in the dream but you couldn’t understand why. You were so happy in the dream. You promised that we would still celebrate together.

In…


Mad About You

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Photo by Alireza Esmaeeli on Unsplash

Barry spent a lot of time thinking about Paul and Jamie, the characters played by Helen Hunt and Paul Reisser on the 90s sitcom, Mad About You.

If ever there were a couple in real life as witty and as cozy as the characters Paul and Jamie I’d feel nothing but pity for them both, stated Barry as we made our way onto the 405 freeway.

Barry often thinks about how his lousy life compares to those fictional characters on the tube whenever we approach a freeway on-ramp. I think it’s because he feels that there’s a terrible injustice in…


Saturday morning

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Artwork by the author

I’m talking to you. Are you even listening to me? He asks me in a slightly agitated tone.

You’re most likely unhappy with me because of something I said, or did, last night, right? Sure, I may have had a bit too much to drink, but whatever, I couldn’t have been that bad. I begin brushing my teeth a tad too vigorously.

Him: Do you have to brush when we’re talking? It’s very distracting.

Me: Oh, am I distracting you from being mad at me? Seems like a good strategy to me.

I reach for the floss and go at…

anniewood

Former Huff Post contributor & dating game show host. Rom-com & YA writer, TV/film actor & artist from Hollywood. Enthusiasm enthusiast. 👊🏼 anniewood.com

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